My Life: Revised

Well, I've made my decision. I will not be staying in Rexburg for the spring. I just don't feel that it's right. This week I fasted and prayed and got the assurance that the LOGICAL thing to do would be to stay here, but today I've learned that just because it's logical doesn't necessarily mean it's right.

The day I fasted, I made the decision to stay and I felt pretty good about it. I went along the rest of the week with that decision, but still feeling weird about it. I tried to ignore the feelings and put them aside and force myself to believe that this was what I was supposed to do, that it was the right decision. But, today at church, all of these thoughts filled my head and everything that any speaker or teacher was saying brought me back to my decision, until finally, someone said something along the lines of "we need to take time for ourselves to keep ourselves sane." Which made me realize that if I stay here, I'll do 5 semesters of school in a row, with very little down time. I don't really think I could handle that. It's only 4 weeks into the semester and I already feel stressed and a little burned out. I just couldn't keep it all in anymore and so the flood gates were opened. I just cried it out, but that didn't really make me feel much better.

So, we got home and I decided I'd call my Dad later on that night to get his advice, but right as I was finishing up making dinner, my Grandmama called me. It was kind of odd, because she doesn't call very often. I usually call her to give her updates on school and life in general, so it was interesting that she called me tonight. She could tell that I was upset on the phone, so I told her I was having a hard time deciding whether or not I should stay in Rexburg over the summer. She didn't even know I'd been thinking about it, but she told me that if I was crying that much over it, maybe it wasn't right for me to stay.

Then I talked to dad and he told me that I shouldn't overwork myself. If I am on a path towards graduation, there is no need to rush myself. I have a plan, I know what classes I still need to take and when I need to take them, so I feel good. He also said that I should take a break if I feel like I need it. Then, I talked to mom, who was a little more skeptical, but felt better once I told her my new graduation plan, which is as follows:

This summer do a Disney College Alumni Program (I applied today and we'll cross our fingers I get it.) Go back to school and finish up my coursework over next fall and winter. Not sure about next spring, but that's over a year from now, and I'll cross that bridge when I'm a little closer to it. I'll student teach fall 2012, which ends in December. While student teaching, I'll apply for a Professional Internship at the Walt Disney World Resort in Education (crossing our fingers I'll get that, too) Then, while on proposed Professional Internship, I'll apply for teaching jobs, just in case 1. I don't get offered a full time position with Disney or 2. decide I don't want a full time position at Disney.

So, there it is. My new "life plan" it may not work out this way, and as much as I sure as heck hope it does, I've learned from this experience that life is gonna throw all kinds of crazy stuff at me, but I just need to have faith that I can get through it with a little help from the big guy upstairs :)

Love,
A Revised Southern Girl in the Land of Potatoes